Could there possibly be a better device available for sweaty, geek-tastic IT journalists and their wonderful readers..
Working in the world of, ahem, IT journalism, and knowing what you lot look like (my good self excepted, of course), I'm only too aware of how this will be the next big thing, perhaps even more popular than the spectacularly cheap Eeee PC.
But c'mon geeks, wouldn't you rather just.. well.. get a girlfriend or sumfink?
Me thinks you protest to much, bet you just ordered yours....
And i got a girlfirend its keeping her secret from the wife thats the problem, wonder what they would think though if they found one of these under the bed?
Fantastic! Now perhaps they'll finally understand what all the hype around the "Rabbit" is about, I'm surprised Anne Summers didn't think of this one herself...but then again, as if men really need any more encouragement ;-) Thanks for the story James, always brilliant.
The average length is slightly over 6.5" in some countries #
Posted Friday 1st August 2008 13:59 GMT
In Western Europe and North America the average is about 6.3". A significant proportion will be over 6.5" wherever you are. So it looks as though there was a cock-up with the specs.
I can understand them not wanting to accommodate the world record of over 12", but it's daft not to accept at least 8".
Um, what the hell does it do to you if you abuse these rules, does it slap you and get mardy if you knock the the thing at the end that looks like krang?
How come my girlfriend is allowed to have a whole knapsack full of this stuff and that makes her awesome, but if I even had one little flip-thingy behind the socks in my bottom drawer, that would make me creepy?
Logitech Harmony ONE Advanced Universal Remote
Logitech Harmony 1100 Remote Control
Logitech Harmony 700 Universal Remote (LCD, 6 Devices)
Logitech Harmony 900 Universal Remote (LCD Touch Screen, Macro Control, 15 Devices)
Panasonic DMW-BCG10 Replacement Battery
Robotic hand relief
Anonymous Coward
Jesus, it's ideal for you lot... #
Posted Friday 1st August 2008 12:54 GMT
Could there possibly be a better device available for sweaty, geek-tastic IT journalists and their wonderful readers..
Working in the world of, ahem, IT journalism, and knowing what you lot look like (my good self excepted, of course), I'm only too aware of how this will be the next big thing, perhaps even more popular than the spectacularly cheap Eeee PC.
But c'mon geeks, wouldn't you rather just.. well.. get a girlfriend or sumfink?
Iain
Toight #
Posted Friday 1st August 2008 13:15 GMT
"can only safely accommodate a todger of up to 6.5in. "
I don't wish to boast, but quite frankly it wouldn't fit.
I thought the national average was 5.8in, so not much room for... expansion.
Hell, how can you even use inuendo here?
Scott
@Ac #
Posted Friday 1st August 2008 13:32 GMT
Me thinks you protest to much, bet you just ordered yours....
And i got a girlfirend its keeping her secret from the wife thats the problem, wonder what they would think though if they found one of these under the bed?
PH for obvious reasons
Anonymous Coward
heh #
Posted Friday 1st August 2008 13:41 GMT
could save my arm from alot of uneccesary effort.
katie
Men getting off with a machine...I love it! #
Posted Friday 1st August 2008 13:41 GMT
Fantastic! Now perhaps they'll finally understand what all the hype around the "Rabbit" is about, I'm surprised Anne Summers didn't think of this one herself...but then again, as if men really need any more encouragement ;-) Thanks for the story James, always brilliant.
Steve
Units #
Posted Friday 1st August 2008 13:53 GMT
Well, even if you don't get one to play with, at least you have a new vulture unit, 1 Tenga = 6.5"
What next, the iTenga ?
AndyC
@Iain... #
Posted Friday 1st August 2008 13:58 GMT
Dang, beat me to it. Thought the average was ahem, larger then that though? And think you mean how can you not use innuendo here...?
Cant see anywhere were it describes how it is automatic or even robotic, looks like just a silicone covering if you will.
I'm just going to link to this as well, the Wii sex toy... Bet you didn't see that one coming...
http://www.oioo.de/
MahatmaCoat
It needs a better name #
Posted Friday 1st August 2008 13:58 GMT
iWank?
Jesus Hand?
Any other suggestions?
Anonymous Coward
The average length is slightly over 6.5" in some countries #
Posted Friday 1st August 2008 13:59 GMT
In Western Europe and North America the average is about 6.3". A significant proportion will be over 6.5" wherever you are. So it looks as though there was a cock-up with the specs.
I can understand them not wanting to accommodate the world record of over 12", but it's daft not to accept at least 8".
Let me know when they've fixed this problem!
piper
@Scott #
Posted Friday 1st August 2008 13:59 GMT
..oh yes, I've ordered fifty. Just so I don't have to clean them afterwards..
Now get back to writing El Reg and stop leaving silly comments!!
Eric
THX 1138 #
Posted Friday 1st August 2008 13:59 GMT
So someone else appreciated that scene from THX 1138 also! Does it have a hologram upgrade?
Mines the one making sucking noises...
Anonymous Coward
Ultimate test scenario: #
Posted Friday 1st August 2008 14:16 GMT
See if the device is able to facilitate a 'happy ending' while the tester* looks at a picture of Ann Widdecombe.
* - Note: In the interests of accuracy, Daily Mail readers need not apply.
Dangermouse
Is it dish-washer proof? #
Posted Friday 1st August 2008 14:16 GMT
That is all.
Anonymous Coward
Re: Is it dish-washer proof? #
Posted Friday 1st August 2008 14:42 GMT
I ain't coming for dinner at your house. (Not unless you're serving Pot Noodles with disposable plastic forks...)
Danny van der Weide
The iTenga... #
Posted Friday 1st August 2008 18:48 GMT
... is about 6.5 iInches.
And an iInch is about 256 milimeters, as one would expect!
Bracken Dawson
Damn! #
Posted Saturday 2nd August 2008 08:40 GMT
Is there a larger version coming?
callmeshane
Excellent - I want one!!!! #
Posted Saturday 2nd August 2008 08:40 GMT
I have a tool called a Penis Pump. a soft dimpled inner silicone sheath with a clear hard outer casing and a hand operated vacuum pump.
The plastic pump was total bullshit - flimsy valves and all....
But it's like getting a head job and a fuck at the same time...
Brilliant.
A small internal warmer would be a welcome addition tho.
:)
Anonymous Coward
Re: Excellent - I want one!!!! #
Posted Monday 4th August 2008 07:49 GMT
Could you possibly be any more of a loser?
Anonymous Coward
OK...... #
Posted Monday 4th August 2008 09:55 GMT
I'm going to be the first one to admit that I may need a smaller version......
Richard Hodgson
Better names? #
Posted Tuesday 5th August 2008 09:41 GMT
How about 'The Stranger'?
Anonymous Coward
And most important for Mac users ... #
Posted Tuesday 5th August 2008 12:27 GMT
Does it come (no pun intended) in a glossy white?
Tom
safely?...... #
Posted Tuesday 5th August 2008 15:07 GMT
Um, what the hell does it do to you if you abuse these rules, does it slap you and get mardy if you knock the the thing at the end that looks like krang?
Anonymous Coward
Awww... #
Posted Wednesday 6th August 2008 08:48 GMT
How come my girlfriend is allowed to have a whole knapsack full of this stuff and that makes her awesome, but if I even had one little flip-thingy behind the socks in my bottom drawer, that would make me creepy?
Tom
@ /\ AC #
Posted Wednesday 6th August 2008 11:12 GMT
Because the mental images of you and the pocket wizard thing are not half as alluring.