> electric lard chariot

Well played, sir! <polite applause>

Penis control. Obviously. In the future of mass transporation, it won't be penis size that matters, it will be penis deviousness.

And they wonder why people are obese. Perhaps they should sell little outriders to stop your flab dragging on the ground.

I've discovered another type of personal mobility device. You sit on it and make it go forward by moving your feet in a circular motion, it can go a lot faster that 3MPH and has a lot further range than 10Km.

There are also specialist models that can go over rough ground. It's could a BI-Cy-Cle. Has any othe El Reg readers come across this innovative mode of transport?

Penguin, because if we all stop buying/using pointless electrical gadgets it might actually mean that there will be some parts of Antartica left for them to live in.

that El Reg seems to shy away from the term 'paraplegic'.

Can't think why. It's legitimate medical terminology for someone who has lost, or lost the use of, both their legs.

The S or M versions look like they could be used by someone suffering this type of disability.

Or is there a problem perceived in using the term 'paraplegic' in the same comment as "lazy short-arsed fuckers".

Or was it the "Dwarfs" reference.

Or is it just OK to mock the fat.

If you're gonna mock one group, it's gotta be open season all round (as it were).

"It’s not clear how users control the Type S and M models...."

Surely we just have to ask the motoring supremo, Max Mosley!

"Um, says who?"

<Yes, I AM wearing my flameproof pants!>

That's what we'll be like soon. All floating about on our electric lard chariots (well coined), barely able to stand because of bone wastage.

As for the chance of running pedestrians over, I wouldn't worry about it. You've got to catch up with them first.

And to the guy squaring up for a row with the Moderatrix: good luck, I'll pop back in from time to time and check on the carnage.

I like Friday afternoons. Do you think there will be a Lego mock-up of some interesting news story today, or has Lester not got back from the pub yet?

PS - Wall-e is a very good film, by the way.

I can't see that anyone skirted the issue of whether these were designed for para's or not. Your rant notwithstanding, these appear to be totally useless devices designed to move otherwise capable people at less than a walking pace for limited distances. Even my grandmother, bless her, walked slowly but surely and doubtless would have had no desire to waste time, effort or money on using one of these.

I thank Bes for the "electric lard chariot". I think it's funny (and yes, I know I'm overweight and out of shape) and in this case most apropos.

We went on the Segway tour of Eiffel tower recently which was great, they really do zip along. People don't buy segways because they are too expensive and I was told they have to be sent to the States for fixing, eg after a mulfunction or crash. These are just too slow and unless they can fly or something, I can't see them taking off...

Its crap then.

The mind reels at the implications of a prehensile penis.

O! M! G!

There's some other 'transport' devices circulating out there, other than the Segway and this latest from Toyota. I've personally spotted our local Montréal police cruising on these things called "T3"; according to the article below they are capable of 40km/h and are pretty good on efficiency.

http://www.canada.com/montrealgazette/news/story.html?id=96e9128b-30a6-41f0-838a-0388136b2e70

Love your first commemnt in this section. Great writing.

Ah, yes indeed I have heard of the BI-Cy-Cle. I believe it was in a history class. From the ancient Romanian for curious about both or either gender and having to do with sexuality.

Not sure what that's got to do with the article though.

Paris, because...

for Bez.. nicely phonetic. rols off the tongue. so to speak..

i wonder if they'll do a flat-bed version.

Does nobody have any LEGS?

<apologies for people who don't have the use of their legs. Or have no legs. Or people who have legs where their hands are and walk on their hands. Or snail people.>