Seeing as how all jet skis are the most revolting invention ever this is no improvement. let the raggies* sail in peace and blow the bloody things out of the water!
"Another crucial benefit, which anyone who lives on the banks of a large lake will appreciate, is that the e-jet ski offers "100 per cent silent" operation."
Doesn't that mean that they're more likely to injure and kill swimmers and other marine life because they popped their heads above water facing the wrong way and never even heard their doom coming...?
Jetski is a model of personal watercraft manufactured by Kawasaki. So this isn't, technically, a Jetski (so there!). </pedant>
Secondly, if a 'Jetski' (sigh) is going to run you over it makes no odds to the nimrod at the controls how much noise it makes, unless it drowns out (no pun intended) the hapless swimmer's screams of impending doom. At 50mph even an olympic swimmer would have trouble getting out the way.
Perhaps Raggies need to get off their friggin' high horses and realise they own about as much of the World's oceans as everyone else and stop bickering about such new-fangled monstrosities....
Reducing the noise of the truly most annoying of water craft would be a great help. But all the fun of riding a jet ski seems to be annoying sun bathers, wind surfers and sailers. Without the annoying drone to piss people off, nobody is going to buy one.
The world doesn't need more jet skis. Just a nice machine gun placement at the top of the cliffs.
Are these electric ones able to go further out than 120 yards from the beach, because the noisy, smelly ones certainly can't.
And in this case, size does matter. This thing is, like, twice as large as a "normal" jetski, and 3 times as heavy, I would guess (batteries...) which, as far as fun is involved, is a major drawback.
On the other hand, it is less noisy, so you'll look like an ass (even slightly more so than a regular jackass on a regular jetski) but far less people will notice you. Might or might not be a plus: after all, 95% of the fun with jetskis is getting attention from the Paris-Hilton-wannabbes on the nearby shore. Or so I've been told.
Designed by idiots, built by idiots, ridden by idiots. An idea only one braincell less moronic than "push to talk" cellphones.
Here on Long Island it seems like we see deaths caused by idiots driving these idiotic things every week of the summer. I'd call it evolution in action, but sadly the deaths tend to be of the same kind that so often occur with a drunken driver - the moron walks away unharmed while the largely innocent victim is dead or so badly injured they might as well be dead.
Making a jetski silent seems to this reader like putting a silencer on an automatic firearm. It doesn't make it any more deadly, but it does make it a damn sight more dangerous.
"Here on Long Island [...] while the largely innocent victim" As everyone from Manhattan knows, there are no innocent people on Long Island.
"Perfect tool for Somali pirates to sneak up on unsupecting craft at night" Yep, and the Segway is the perfect tool for nomadic antelope-hunting Malian tribes. Though I don't think the segway franchise in Niafunké is doing that well.
My buddy & I built electric JS550 Jetski[tm] conversions that we used in and around the Port Of Redwood City, California in the mid-eighties. Ask anyone who hung out in the afore-mentioned port, Pete's Harbor, Docktown, the Municiple harbor, and the various sloughs in the neighborhood.
Yes, salt water & high current caused all kinds of problems. We ran them for maybe two years, before giving up on the idea as more trouble than it was worth.
No, they were not quiet. Pushing water makes noise.
So they say it will be able to be used on lakes where they have banned gasolene engines, presumably banned partly for safety reasons! Sounds like they just want to cash in on the eco thing and also get around laws which have been put in place for safety reasons. Here's hoping they go bust or get a class action suit against them shortly!
It's funny reading the comments for and against these things. No one on the for or against side begins to listen to the other.
"100% silent=extremely dangerous" Probably not, it's not like it's the job of the swimmers to move out of the way anyway (even if they could duck under it in time). And noise that boats make underwater is not directional to our ears so you have no idea where it is coming from in the first place.
100% silent=peace... but still fun when you hire one!
This has got to be a joke right ? Battery Acid + Salt = Chlorine Gas. Hmm nice for all in the vicinity after an accident. Not to mention the watercourse pollution that will remain afterwards due to the battery remains sunk to the bottom.
I'm a dinghy sailor and I **HATE** jetskis and the retards that drive them, as has been said rarely more than 20ft from the shore. Even 2-3 miles out, all you can hear is whur-whur-whur as these fuckwits bounce over waves backwards and forwards whilst trying to look cool. OK I concede it is impressive watching what the really good competition guys can do, but other than this, I fail to see what humanity has gained by the invention of these monstrosities.
The only practical application of a jetski for the regular punter other than posing 20ft from the shore is life preservation where these things are actually **REALLY** well suited : mobile, cheap, light and fast (at least the petrol versions). Other than being big (for your average yank ?) how are these electric jetskis suited to this role ?
I see these things as less irritating than normal jetskis but far less versatile, and more likely to harm the environment than save it. Really poor idea !
Just watch how quickly the noise limiting regulations get changed to something else if these come out in force. Not that they will be silent anyway - a large part of the noise of a JetSki or similar comes from the Jet and impeller itself.
Hopefully the manufacturer will have the sense to fit a limp-home mode, similar to the idea of a reserve tank, so that these can still get back to shore when they run flat. Not that I care about the kind of person who rides these, just the pollution from them sinking in the middle of a drinking water reservoir.
<- Flames, 'cos that's what power is supposed to be about.
Q : What does a jetski require ? A : Power, and quite a lot of it. 5hp+ would be a reasonable starting point, but when accelerating, more like 15+.
Q : Why does a car use a lead-acid battery for starting ? A : Because it delivers sustained high power with high current for considerable time with minimal voltage drop.
Q : Can a Li-ion battery give the sustained juice of a lead-acid battery ? A : No, which is why they're not used in cars, not to mention the cost of a Li-ion battery that could give equivalent performance. Admittedly the power per unit weight of battery is higher, which is why you don't have lead-acid batteries in model planes.
Q : Does a Li-ion battery work well at low temperatures, as might be encountered by someone out on a winters day ? A : no not really, though once the battery is draining it warms up quite fast. It just won't hold charge well like this. Another reason they're not used as the starter battery for cars.
Personally I'd like to see one of these things powered by a triple expansion engine. Now that really would be a feat ! It would be quiet, and you'd see it coming for ages due to the smoke plume on the horizon. They could also be coal powered. :-)
I am very much aware of the existence of these old large inefficient things. The Wankel engine can be very compact, can also work on steam, and, appart from being a vely (sorry) good excuse for bad puns, would be much more efficient (not to mention the vibrations).
Of course my comment was but a joke, as made amply evident by the use of the icon and the stupid pseudo-japanese plonunciation. Apparently not evident enough though.
@ Homard: "Been a real pleasure too. Paris cos even she can outwit you."
"So basically you are admitting to trying to be an idiot, by choice?"
Still beats not having the choice at all. The part about the Wankel engine is still valid though. I'm just not a self-important twat, is all. So when answering to a comment that suggests an old clumsy steam engine in a jet-ski, I sometimes indulge in a bit of self-irony on the side of the factually valid part. Doing otherwise would be sick.
"Cool. Works for me. I'll ignore you now. Have a nice day."
A nice day to you, too. Tell your horse I said hi.
@Jake : I know about the Wankel rotary engine. Light weight and high performance. Very high revving too. I think it was used in the Norton Commander (motorbike) in the late 80s and early 90s with great success. I didn't think Pierre meant that in his reply ! I note your point about gel lead-acid batteries. Do you get the same performance from these as conventional liquid acid ones ?
@Pierre : take another look at how you've spelt pleasure, and I think you'll agree even Paris would have read wanker, if she can read that is ! The dangers of mis-spelling ! Are you sure you couldn't fit a small triple expansion engine in that thing - it certainly looks big enough !! ;-) Now putting aside the fact that it is a totally stupid idea (which you aptly point out !), the technical challenge of *actually* doing it is not. In fact this would be the perverse kind of objective you would get on Scapheap Challenge. Great fun to be had !
"@Pierre : take another look at how you've spelt pleasure, and I think you'll agree even Paris would have read wanker,"
Yeah well, it was supposed to be some kind of lame pun, you know, double-entendre, what with the guy on the machine being a wankel (or is it r? I'm confused now) and all that. Probably a bit *too* lame though.
As for the triple expansion engine, you do have a point about the size of this, erm, vessel. On the other hand, you'd still have a big vibration problem, which would disappear with a Wankel engine... still steam-powered of course. The first jet-ski in the world with a heating seat! The heat would probably take care of these defective look-at-me-on-my-annoying-sea-mosquito genes, too (evolution-wise). Though the vibrations might also help... maybe the triple expansion idea should be given a chance after all.
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World's first electric jet ski surfaces
Anonymous Coward
fire up the heat seeking missile #
Posted Friday 29th May 2009 14:12 GMT
Seeing as how all jet skis are the most revolting invention ever this is no improvement. let the raggies* sail in peace and blow the bloody things out of the water!
* Geek talk from another world
Pete
just what you need when you're out for a swim #
Posted Friday 29th May 2009 14:57 GMT
a "100% silent" chunk of plastic bearing down on you at "up to 50 mph"
Tasteless comments about dead pop-singers aside, this is one thing I don't need on my holidays, especially on those dark, skinny-dipping, nights
Paul Murphy
Seems like a good idea to me. #
Posted Friday 29th May 2009 14:57 GMT
Though I don't live near water (I suspect that AC@13:58 might) and I can see it being used in the next Bond movie.
ttfn
Greg
Bigger than an ordinary one? #
Posted Friday 29th May 2009 14:57 GMT
Seems to have a bit of an arse on it.... Part of the fun of jet skis is being able to throw them around a bit.
Anonymous Coward
Silent? Bad idea, surely... #
Posted Friday 29th May 2009 14:57 GMT
"Another crucial benefit, which anyone who lives on the banks of a large lake will appreciate, is that the e-jet ski offers "100 per cent silent" operation."
Doesn't that mean that they're more likely to injure and kill swimmers and other marine life because they popped their heads above water facing the wrong way and never even heard their doom coming...?
Anonymous Coward
Hmmm. #
Posted Friday 29th May 2009 14:57 GMT
Lots of amps... salt water... silently approaching swimmers...
What could possibly go wrong?
Lionel Baden
meh #
Posted Friday 29th May 2009 14:57 GMT
100% silent i hapen to disgree with that comment mebbe 60% reduction in sound
i agree with 1st poster tbh i prefer to sail
Anonymous Coward
Doesn't that make it a submarine? #
Posted Friday 29th May 2009 14:57 GMT
A?????
JonB
Finally! #
Posted Friday 29th May 2009 14:57 GMT
At last! The short range of electric vehicles has suddenly become a plus point.
Anonymous Coward
At least the leccy ones will be quiet #
Posted Friday 29th May 2009 14:57 GMT
So us beach-lovers will be able to have peace and quiet.
IndianaJ
Isn't that a ... #
Posted Friday 29th May 2009 14:57 GMT
Looks like a jet bike to me. Jet skis are the one's that drag you around / stand up on I thought.
ben
water and electricity... #
Posted Friday 29th May 2009 16:16 GMT
...i was told at primary school, don't mix
Dave Ross
Great... #
Posted Friday 29th May 2009 16:16 GMT
So now swimmers (instead of pedestrians) won't be able to hear it coming...
Luis Ogando
Firstly... #
Posted Friday 29th May 2009 16:16 GMT
Jetski is a model of personal watercraft manufactured by Kawasaki. So this isn't, technically, a Jetski (so there!). </pedant>
Secondly, if a 'Jetski' (sigh) is going to run you over it makes no odds to the nimrod at the controls how much noise it makes, unless it drowns out (no pun intended) the hapless swimmer's screams of impending doom. At 50mph even an olympic swimmer would have trouble getting out the way.
Perhaps Raggies need to get off their friggin' high horses and realise they own about as much of the World's oceans as everyone else and stop bickering about such new-fangled monstrosities....
Liam Thom
A toy for slightly less anoying tossers #
Posted Friday 29th May 2009 16:19 GMT
Reducing the noise of the truly most annoying of water craft would be a great help. But all the fun of riding a jet ski seems to be annoying sun bathers, wind surfers and sailers. Without the annoying drone to piss people off, nobody is going to buy one.
The world doesn't need more jet skis. Just a nice machine gun placement at the top of the cliffs.
Are these electric ones able to go further out than 120 yards from the beach, because the noisy, smelly ones certainly can't.
Tony Smith, Editor, Reg Hardware
Jetskis? #
Posted Friday 29th May 2009 16:22 GMT
I thought everyone knows the Jetskis were the Kruschev-era Soviet answer to the Jetsons.
You should see the episode where they go for a holiday in Cuba and much hilarity ensues...
Simon Beck
I can see #
Posted Friday 29th May 2009 16:37 GMT
many military sales coming.
Lionel Baden
lol 2nd thought #
Posted Friday 29th May 2009 16:59 GMT
they are gonna have to put speakers on them to make them noisy again just so people know they are there
rofl
Pierre
OMG it's HUGE! #
Posted Friday 29th May 2009 20:04 GMT
And in this case, size does matter. This thing is, like, twice as large as a "normal" jetski, and 3 times as heavy, I would guess (batteries...) which, as far as fun is involved, is a major drawback.
On the other hand, it is less noisy, so you'll look like an ass (even slightly more so than a regular jackass on a regular jetski) but far less people will notice you. Might or might not be a plus: after all, 95% of the fun with jetskis is getting attention from the Paris-Hilton-wannabbes on the nearby shore. Or so I've been told.
Stevie
Bah! #
Posted Friday 29th May 2009 20:04 GMT
Designed by idiots, built by idiots, ridden by idiots. An idea only one braincell less moronic than "push to talk" cellphones.
Here on Long Island it seems like we see deaths caused by idiots driving these idiotic things every week of the summer. I'd call it evolution in action, but sadly the deaths tend to be of the same kind that so often occur with a drunken driver - the moron walks away unharmed while the largely innocent victim is dead or so badly injured they might as well be dead.
Making a jetski silent seems to this reader like putting a silencer on an automatic firearm. It doesn't make it any more deadly, but it does make it a damn sight more dangerous.
Erik Aamot
perfect tool for ... #
Posted Friday 29th May 2009 22:31 GMT
... Somali pirates to sneak up on unsupecting craft at night .. otherwise seems a bit large for what is supposed to be a motorcycle on water
... wish them success on the Mogadishu ECO franchise
Pierre
@ Stevie and Erik Aamot #
Posted Friday 29th May 2009 23:10 GMT
"Here on Long Island [...] while the largely innocent victim" As everyone from Manhattan knows, there are no innocent people on Long Island.
"Perfect tool for Somali pirates to sneak up on unsupecting craft at night" Yep, and the Segway is the perfect tool for nomadic antelope-hunting Malian tribes. Though I don't think the segway franchise in Niafunké is doing that well.
jake
Eh? #
Posted Saturday 30th May 2009 09:54 GMT
My buddy & I built electric JS550 Jetski[tm] conversions that we used in and around the Port Of Redwood City, California in the mid-eighties. Ask anyone who hung out in the afore-mentioned port, Pete's Harbor, Docktown, the Municiple harbor, and the various sloughs in the neighborhood.
Yes, salt water & high current caused all kinds of problems. We ran them for maybe two years, before giving up on the idea as more trouble than it was worth.
No, they were not quiet. Pushing water makes noise.
Anonymous Coward
Nooo! #
Posted Saturday 30th May 2009 09:54 GMT
100% silent=extremely dangerous and what't this about being able to ride where noone else can?
Anonymous Coward
Deliberate endangerment! #
Posted Saturday 30th May 2009 09:54 GMT
So they say it will be able to be used on lakes where they have banned gasolene engines, presumably banned partly for safety reasons! Sounds like they just want to cash in on the eco thing and also get around laws which have been put in place for safety reasons. Here's hoping they go bust or get a class action suit against them shortly!
James
Hahaha #
Posted Saturday 30th May 2009 12:22 GMT
It's funny reading the comments for and against these things. No one on the for or against side begins to listen to the other.
"100% silent=extremely dangerous" Probably not, it's not like it's the job of the swimmers to move out of the way anyway (even if they could duck under it in time). And noise that boats make underwater is not directional to our ears so you have no idea where it is coming from in the first place.
100% silent=peace... but still fun when you hire one!
Homard
Eco Disaster Pending #
Posted Sunday 31st May 2009 10:09 GMT
This has got to be a joke right ? Battery Acid + Salt = Chlorine Gas. Hmm nice for all in the vicinity after an accident. Not to mention the watercourse pollution that will remain afterwards due to the battery remains sunk to the bottom.
I'm a dinghy sailor and I **HATE** jetskis and the retards that drive them, as has been said rarely more than 20ft from the shore. Even 2-3 miles out, all you can hear is whur-whur-whur as these fuckwits bounce over waves backwards and forwards whilst trying to look cool. OK I concede it is impressive watching what the really good competition guys can do, but other than this, I fail to see what humanity has gained by the invention of these monstrosities.
The only practical application of a jetski for the regular punter other than posing 20ft from the shore is life preservation where these things are actually **REALLY** well suited : mobile, cheap, light and fast (at least the petrol versions). Other than being big (for your average yank ?) how are these electric jetskis suited to this role ?
I see these things as less irritating than normal jetskis but far less versatile, and more likely to harm the environment than save it. Really poor idea !
Michael
Does it come with... #
Posted Sunday 31st May 2009 15:42 GMT
....a nuclear powered option as well?
Ian Johnston
@Homard #
Posted Monday 1st June 2009 08:33 GMT
Where is the acid in a lithium-ion battery pack?
Dave
Restrictions #
Posted Monday 1st June 2009 13:31 GMT
Just watch how quickly the noise limiting regulations get changed to something else if these come out in force. Not that they will be silent anyway - a large part of the noise of a JetSki or similar comes from the Jet and impeller itself.
Hopefully the manufacturer will have the sense to fit a limp-home mode, similar to the idea of a reserve tank, so that these can still get back to shore when they run flat. Not that I care about the kind of person who rides these, just the pollution from them sinking in the middle of a drinking water reservoir.
<- Flames, 'cos that's what power is supposed to be about.
Homard
@Ian Johnston #
Posted Monday 1st June 2009 21:04 GMT
Please answer a few questions :-
Q : What does a jetski require ? A : Power, and quite a lot of it. 5hp+ would be a reasonable starting point, but when accelerating, more like 15+.
Q : Why does a car use a lead-acid battery for starting ? A : Because it delivers sustained high power with high current for considerable time with minimal voltage drop.
Q : Can a Li-ion battery give the sustained juice of a lead-acid battery ? A : No, which is why they're not used in cars, not to mention the cost of a Li-ion battery that could give equivalent performance. Admittedly the power per unit weight of battery is higher, which is why you don't have lead-acid batteries in model planes.
Q : Does a Li-ion battery work well at low temperatures, as might be encountered by someone out on a winters day ? A : no not really, though once the battery is draining it warms up quite fast. It just won't hold charge well like this. Another reason they're not used as the starter battery for cars.
Personally I'd like to see one of these things powered by a triple expansion engine. Now that really would be a feat ! It would be quiet, and you'd see it coming for ages due to the smoke plume on the horizon. They could also be coal powered. :-)
Pierre
@Homard #
Posted Tuesday 2nd June 2009 20:44 GMT
"Personally I'd like to see one of these things powered by a triple expansion engine."
I think you mean Wankel engine.
No need to thank me, it's learry been a preasule.
Homard
@pierre #
Posted Wednesday 3rd June 2009 00:08 GMT
If you want a wanker engine in one of these things then you'd better start pedalling.
That way you won't have to use those arms which must be so tired after all that self gratification.
Been a real pleasure too. Paris cos even she can outwit you.
jake
@Homard & @Pierre #
Posted Wednesday 3rd June 2009 10:35 GMT
I think you guys are talking at cross-purposes.
Homard: Look up "Wankel Rotary Engine"
Pierre: Look up "Triple Expansion Engine"
For the record, we used GelCell lead-acid batteries to power our converted JS550s.
Pierre
@ jake (and Homard) #
Posted Wednesday 3rd June 2009 16:33 GMT
«Pierre: Look up "Triple Expansion Engine"»
I am very much aware of the existence of these old large inefficient things. The Wankel engine can be very compact, can also work on steam, and, appart from being a vely (sorry) good excuse for bad puns, would be much more efficient (not to mention the vibrations).
Of course my comment was but a joke, as made amply evident by the use of the icon and the stupid pseudo-japanese plonunciation. Apparently not evident enough though.
@ Homard: "Been a real pleasure too. Paris cos even she can outwit you."
She plobabry can, but I doubt you'd notice.
jake
@Pierre #
Posted Thursday 4th June 2009 08:12 GMT
"and the stupid pseudo-japanese plonunciation."
So basically you are admitting to trying to be an idiot, by choice?
Cool. Works for me. I'll ignore you now. Have a nice day.
Pierre
Choice #
Posted Thursday 4th June 2009 17:43 GMT
"So basically you are admitting to trying to be an idiot, by choice?"
Still beats not having the choice at all. The part about the Wankel engine is still valid though. I'm just not a self-important twat, is all. So when answering to a comment that suggests an old clumsy steam engine in a jet-ski, I sometimes indulge in a bit of self-irony on the side of the factually valid part. Doing otherwise would be sick.
"Cool. Works for me. I'll ignore you now. Have a nice day."
A nice day to you, too. Tell your horse I said hi.
Homard
@Jake & @Pierre #
Posted Thursday 4th June 2009 22:27 GMT
@Jake : I know about the Wankel rotary engine. Light weight and high performance. Very high revving too. I think it was used in the Norton Commander (motorbike) in the late 80s and early 90s with great success. I didn't think Pierre meant that in his reply ! I note your point about gel lead-acid batteries. Do you get the same performance from these as conventional liquid acid ones ?
@Pierre : take another look at how you've spelt pleasure, and I think you'll agree even Paris would have read wanker, if she can read that is ! The dangers of mis-spelling ! Are you sure you couldn't fit a small triple expansion engine in that thing - it certainly looks big enough !! ;-) Now putting aside the fact that it is a totally stupid idea (which you aptly point out !), the technical challenge of *actually* doing it is not. In fact this would be the perverse kind of objective you would get on Scapheap Challenge. Great fun to be had !
Pierre
Heh! That was supposed to be funny #
Posted Friday 5th June 2009 00:03 GMT
"@Pierre : take another look at how you've spelt pleasure, and I think you'll agree even Paris would have read wanker,"
Yeah well, it was supposed to be some kind of lame pun, you know, double-entendre, what with the guy on the machine being a wankel (or is it r? I'm confused now) and all that. Probably a bit *too* lame though.
As for the triple expansion engine, you do have a point about the size of this, erm, vessel. On the other hand, you'd still have a big vibration problem, which would disappear with a Wankel engine... still steam-powered of course. The first jet-ski in the world with a heating seat! The heat would probably take care of these defective look-at-me-on-my-annoying-sea-mosquito genes, too (evolution-wise). Though the vibrations might also help... maybe the triple expansion idea should be given a chance after all.