>It will, wait for it, "create a plot from scratch" - stop that crazy talk since between 'The Last Starfighter' and 'Impact' Hollywood has more than enough source material to draw on.

Also like the idea of the bizarre Wii fit accident - I suspect you are a Spinal Tap fan Lester.

pew pew, rotate, thrust.

Whereas for PH it's 'thrust, thrust' then 'pew, pew'

ttfn

I know it is a Friday and this is the way of Friday stories but I only have one spare keyboard left after reading the suggested cast-list and synopsis.

So will it all be set to a cheesy pop soundtrack with pointless dance routines then?

Can I be the first to name the large asteroid that's doing the most threatening Emma?

New Icons and possibly another Hollywood Flop about Asteroids...

New keyboard please... because the last one got burnt from the menacing asteroids!!!

Are you sure this isn't for that 'interactive pre-movie game' there was a prior article about.. where the crowd must wave their hands around like lunatics to avoid ... asteroids ?

...and its sequel, Ms Pac-Man. Then, of course, the summer release of Space Invaders, Galaxian and Dig Dug rounding off with the multi-award winning, 3-movie saga of Lunar Lander.

Paris, 'cause of her groundbreaking dramatic work in The Hottie and the Nottie.

Cominf to a cinema near you - Tetris: The Movie!

Please save us all....

A cross between The Last Starfighter and Rugrats Go W^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H Armageddon. Where's the Asteroids icon?

Sounds vaguely like a remake of Dark Star, but probably without the brilliant talking bomb and beachball with claws. Probably with less beards too.

Anyone seen the fake trailer for the Tetris film on youtube? It is rather good and sums up this kind of idea perfectly.

Hollywood always does this. e.g. take the title of a book "i,Robot" and make a film that has nothing to do with it. "Asteroids" is no different.

Remember the "good old days" when video games were difficult? Centipede, asteroids, missile command, defender - only people with fast reflexes had a hope. I was hopeless at them. I think my all-time high score on asteroids was less than 30,000.

Nowadays the games are all much easier.

[[By the way, the correct "alt" text for a hand grenade is "chew on this pineapple, dino" not "suck on this".]]

You're making this up, admit it!

Even Hollywood wouldn't stoop as low as -er wait a minute. OK I believe you now.

see title

Spend half an hour setting up the plot, in this case "Insert coin"

Then two hours of "Pew pew pew pew pew pew pew!"

You won't be able to pick it out from the other crop of action films these days.

More to the point, will it have a training montage?

Gotta have a montage....

I can see it and it works. Completely wrong however. Wrong on every possible level.

What next, a plot about Tetris and menacing blocks that once arranged in a line explode devastating cities.

Or terrorists threaten the world with mine sweeper???????

Holly wood has gone nuts.

An evil alien monkey race, having already wiped out the ancient space invader civilisation now threatens to destroy the intergalactic nature reserve that is the asteroid belt.....

Perhaps they will get away with it because TP won't remember it was his book.

It's about time hollywood took a look at making a big budget film based on draughts. Or possibly Ludo.

Or even Chucky Egg...

Now the Joust one could be fun - then again it would probably come out something like a Knights Tale but without Heath Ledger....

Like that plot outline, except that's the plot from The Last Starfighter isn't it ?

I heard that his small part is *why* they nicknamed him "Junior".

*ba-dumf-tisshhhh*

Hollywood wonders why piracy is so high! Does anyone in Hollywood have a) any originality anymore b) any balls to take a chance on a new idea?

Tell you what how about these?

Horace Goes Skiing - Brad Pitt plays the plucky little fluff-ball trying to errm, well ski I suppose!

Ant Attack - Brad Pitt plays the plucky hero trying to avoid, well the ants attacking I suppose!

Roland on The Ropes - Jude Law beefs up in his role as the plucky rope climbing hero.

Lunar Jetman - Val Kilmer ( he'll be in a space suit so we won't have to look at his face! ) comes out of retirement to play the plucky hero destined to bounce across the moon surface!

Please...

I'll look forward to downloading this off ThePirateB........ oh, wait... no!

...like Half Life, Crysis, Bioshock, Starcraft, etc.

Asteroids: It has no plot whatsoever, it consists entirely of lots of shooting and big things exploding.

And they didn't give this to Michael Bay?

Does anyone else here think that El Reg and El Regers could Seed a Series of Movies with an IT Base of Allied XXXXSScripts.

And when a Thought Shared is Supported, is IT Squared rather than Doubled and thus is Exponential Growth the Natural Norm of even the Simplest of IT Programs, putting them very soon way out in Front ....... and Leading Everything.

Wanna Play AI Beta Great Game, El Reg, .....with the Banks Footing the Bill/Funding ITs Projects?

Which is a Perfectly Crazy Offer Ideally Suited to a Boozy Friday Afternoon at the Bar Office....... and when one Considers the Number of Inventions which have been Born of Liquid Alcoholic Refreshment, it would be no Stealthy Surprise to Many or Any, should IT be a BlockBuster MegaMetaData Success.

One could even Tempt Paris and the Hilton Chain Gang into the Plot and IT ...... for Businesses are always looking to Diversify and Hedge their Bets.

I can't wait to buy the film sound track. DU du, DU du, DU du, DU du, DU du, DU du, powowowowowowowowow, DU du, DU du, DU du, DU du, powowowowowowowowow

Classic. I have 3 albums already.

Wow Hollywood, what next, Tetris parts 1, 2 and 3, the revenge of falling blocks.