Reg Hardware

Renault unveils e-car foursome

Will Shaw

Bloody silly names. 

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These names have now taken my top prize for Stupidest Name(s) For A Car Ever award. The previous winner was the Chrysler Rageous, which some pointed out at the time would have been better called the Chrylser Diculous.

Scott Wheeler

Aaah, my eyes! 

Boffin

Oh, boy, that's uglier than the illegitimate union of a Mercedes Grosse and a golf cart.

DR

the first one 

wtf were they thinking.

it's looks like someone took a smoby kids car and stuck extra pointless crap to it.

Daniel 1

Looks like the Flintstones just met the Jetsons 

Do I get any extra mileage by putting my feet through the floor and running really really fast? Surely the range would be a bit better without the octagonal wheels?

Anonymous Coward

All this leccy car stuff is good but... 

FAIL

Fails to address the elephant in the room.

What energy source will be used to generate the electricity? Coal, Oil?, Gas? Wood? Refuse? The common denominator here is CO2 generation. And leccy cars do almost nothing about this.

If there were a move to Wave, Tidal barrage, Solar or Wind as the primary energy source for electricity then leccy cars might be less of a joke than they are now. As it is I find these sort of articles less and less amusing. They're not even distracting 'cos there is no totty and the cars are quite ugly!

David Edwards

Renault ideas 

Joke

The best thing about these cars is if you are in a hurry another Renault driver will crash into the wall to ensure that you remain at the front of the traffic queue.

A.N Other

And my hopes were dashed... 

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Was it just me that read the caption under the first photo as "Renault Flatulence"? At last, I thought...a car powered by the hot air (and other gases) put out by the green brigade!

Lord Raa

Am I 

Coat

Am I the only one who read "Fluence" as "Flatulence" ?

jackharrer

Oh my god... 

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Fluence looks quite nice but rest looks like they just escaped from Teletubbies episode.

Why, just why they try to force those things upon us? Can't they just take a look at some Japanese anime and take concepts from there? If they really cannot think about anything worthwhile by themselves.

Dave_H

Not the first electric Kangoo 

FAIL

And I bet that they won't sell this one to Brit's either!

If I'd wanted one of the earlier models, I'd have had to get it from Switzerland and drive back there for the servicing!

I can't fault the specifications, just the availability!

Anonymous Coward

They've missed a few demographics 

FAIL

(a) People who don't like French cars

(b) People who like driving for pleasure rather than just going to the shops

(c) People who need to go further than the next town along. And no, the train isn't an option. Running an electric car is supposed to be cheap. Trains are more expensive than petrol-powered cars (well, more than mine- does just under 30mpg on motorways and I still make a saving over Scotrail).

(d) People who buy cars for their stylish designs

(e) Anyone who wants a decent stereo- an extra half-kilowatt or more would eat your range. Then again it's batteries won't last for a full CD's duration each way.

(f) People pissed off at them for bringing a slow eco-van to the Goodwood Festival of Speed

(g) Anyone who wants to go quickly or have the option to go quickly

(h) People who live in a flat and don't live next door to a battery-change station

(i) Men.

(j) Household with more than one car. Overnight charges on a 13A socket are all well and good, but having mum, dad and two kids charging up overnight? Not a chance.

So yeah, in the UK they're only really useful for London-dwelling skinny-latte drinkers. And I'd have thought they'd be better off with the Tube.

As far as electric cars go, these are a big fail. Well, unless you can pick up that tiny runabout one for maybe a grand. That looks like it'd be good for me running to the shops or running me into town once a month without having to find a wide parking space.

Anonymous Coward

@ AC 11.40 

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The French produce 80+% of their electricity from nuclear power plants so by turning to electric powered cars they will massively reduce their auto CO2 emissions. The Danes have similarly ambitious plans to generate a high percentage of their electricity from wind farms. Bottom line is you can't power a petrol or diesel car on CO2 free renewable power but you can can an electric car. No pachyderms in the room after all.

Adam 10

@AC 

What will charge the batteries? Well, in France, electricity is mostly nuclear. So, the only byproducts of these cars will be greater amounts of radioactive waste. Nothing to worry about then!

I'm glad to see leccy cars getting nearer to market because I want one. But if history has taught us one thing it's that the only French car company that can make anything fun or cool is Citroen. Citroen should invent one with wifty-wafty suspension right now.

Anonymous Coward

@ A/C those who have missed.... 

FAIL

you forgot...

k) those who don't want to get wet & cold in winter

l) those who don't want kids pointing and laughing at you (or more likely throwing stones at you)

Daniel 1

@AC: "What energy source will be used to generate the electricity?" 

Why, Smithers... haven't you realised by now? We'll use the decomposing bodies of our enemies, of course - just like those pesky robots!

Mwahahahaha.

David Kelly 2

Baby Stroller? 

The Twizy needs a handle on the back to complete the baby stroller image.

Mike Richards

Twizy 

It's going to take forever to get anywhere in that thing. The electric motors will be fast enough it's just that Renault's famous build quality means that as soon as you hit a speed bump you'll have to stop and nail all that plastic crap back on the body.

Fascinatingly horrible in a Gobbler Motel (go look it up) sort of way.

John Hughes

Elephants in the room 

Boffin

"What energy source will be used to generate the electricity" whines AC/DC.

These a are French cars.

You work it out.

David W.

Good god! 

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That thing is even uglier than Renault's F1 racing strategy.

And to David Kelly 2 - my kid's stroller is a hell of a lot more attractive than that thing!

Fred Tourette

Demographic? 

WTF?

I'm all for the concept of getting our fat asses, where possible and practical, into electrics, but do they all have to look as if they came from Playskool? Honest to [insert deity here], these "cars" look like a cross between a child's toy and a geriatric scooter.

Captain TickTock

Can they screw them up as badly... 

Unhappy

as their 1st generation dCi engines, and try to fob off their customers until the warranty runs out?

It will be a long time before I'm ready to buy Renault again.

Adrian Esdaile

Watch out when you refuel.... 

Alert

Renault have issued a warning for these cars; they have a nasty habit of steering into walls just after you've refueled them.

Maybe they could rename the 'Fluence' to the 'Flavio'? I think it will be about as popular....

J 3

Re: And my hopes were dashed... 

WTF?

I couldn't help keep reading it like that either. I wonder if the same problem happens in French...

Peter Bond

Strewth... 

Happy

you Poms don't have complain a lot for a country whose last mass market car maker went belly up four years ago after producing re-baged Hondas and other wretched tat for two decades and after the management trousered 40 million quid given them by BMW! OK, these Renault's aren't to everyone's taste, but kudos for brave efforts surely. And if you don't like, don't buy - nobody is going to make you give up your horrible Rover 75 and drive an electric Renault...

Greg J Preece

3 ugly, one sexy 

I really like the Fluence's look. Pity it'll be a shit car, but what can you do?

Matt 20

@John Hughes 

Grenade

" "What energy source will be used to generate the electricity" whines AC/DC.

These a are French cars.

You work it out."

Are you saying it will run on garlic and arrogance?

chr0m4t1c

@Matt 20 

Joke

"Are you saying it will run on garlic and arrogance?"

I'd have guessed at cheese. Maybe those Surrender Monkeys I keep hearing about can be trained to run on treadmills or something.

Of course, being French, they'll only need to work one day a week because they'll spend the rest of the time on strike.

Did we miss any other distasteful stereotyping?

Are the Germans or Italians planning any electric vehicles? I'm sure they would also provide rich veins of xenophobia to mine.

Pete James

They're not bad efforts 

if a bit inconsistent in the results; brave styling but appalling packaging (Twizy), rather pretty (Zoe) a bit bland (Effluent - sorry, Fluence) and twee (Kanpoo). The Twizy should have 4WS to make it really effective in the town while the Zoe is something I can see going down quite well in a fashion accessory / lifestyle positioning effort.

Despite never being much of a fan of Renault these are not bad pieces of work at all. They just need a decent small and light engine in them. oops.....

ElReg!comments!Pierre

@Matt 20 

Troll

"Are you saying it will run on garlic and arrogance?"

As opposed to what, Jello and weapon-grade blandness?

DRendar

Fluence 

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Not sure what you lot are smoking but to me the Fluence is gorgeous.

Shame (as previously hinted at) it isn't a serial hybrid, so for me it's F*&king useless.