Seem to recall from visits to Yosemite and similar places in the past the park authorities give guidance on what to do if approached by bears/mountain lions etc ... of course, the primary advice is to keep your distance but if they are approaching then the advice is not to run away but instead "act agressively" and throwing things at them is recommended (though, when I was last there 10 years ago the idea of throwing iPhones was not considered and instead stones were suggested)
Interviewing the bear, it said while it initially enjoyed using the iPhone the time it took to download and install apps got it so frustrated that it mangled the phone while prodding it to make it work quicker..
It later said that apple was bearphobic for not producing a touchscreen suitable for bears' talons
Bear : my fingers are too fat for this online keyboard, I can't get a decent signal out here and wait.. my wifes status is set to what on facebook?
Rip, tear stomp
Woman : wow this will make a good news story
Apple : careface, buy another one iTard
Woman : ok
I don't live anywhere near bears but I think if I did a quick patdown would reveal mace and dead squirrels (bears use them for toilet paper) before it revealed a mobile phone.
Maybe she was expecting the phone to explode? In that case the iphone would be like lobbing a hand grenade. Add that to your list of truly *amazing* things that the iphone can do.
"I don't live anywhere near bears but I think if I did a quick patdown would reveal mace and dead squirrels (bears use them for toilet paper) before it revealed a mobile phone."
What, you mean they don't use Charmin??? Damn corporations have been lying to us again!!
Not sure what would be worse either, a bear eating you or a bear spraying you with mace, THEN eating you. I suppose they keep it for self-defense in case some random weirdo tries to pat them down. ;-)
"Maybe she was expecting the phone to explode? In that case the iphone would be like lobbing a hand grenade."
I live in an area where encountering bears is not unheard of. During certain times of the year, and in certain areas, hikers are advised to carry/wear jingle bells (yeah, the holiday kind), as the noise will keep bears away most of the time - not being a "natural" sound and all that.
They say you can tell brown/grizzly bear scat from black bear scat because the brown/grizzly bear's poo has little jingle bells in it. I guess it's got iPhones in it now, too.
But, surely any Vermont state official, who hikes in bear country, should have known that.
I have to agree with the earlier poster. Why was she expecting that her warranty would cover throwing the phone at a bear, when it doesn't even cover dropping it. I have dropped far more items, and far more frequently, than I have thrown at bears. If going in for a warranty replacement seemed a reasonable expectation, she should no longer be working for any government office.
My company is about to start selling the iPhone, and we were discussing demo units. My boss remarked 'What do we need demo units for, you could take an iPhone to a tribe somewhere that had never seen a white man before, and they would know what it was and how to use it' :-) :-)
HTC Touch HD Pocket PC
MWg Zinc II
HTC Touch Pro
HTC Touch Diamond2
Palm Treo Pro Smartphone
iPhone saves woman from bear
Simon Blair
JesusPhone Saves! #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 10:18 GMT
That's all.
Pavlovs well trained dog
Apple #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 10:18 GMT
So bears also believe an Apple a Day keeps the Vet away
Anonymous Coward
I can imagine the bear #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 10:18 GMT
RAAAAW I'M GOING TO EAT YOUR FLESH AND CRUNCH YOUR BONES GROWL oh look at that an iphone.
The Original Ash
Best to play dead #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 10:18 GMT
When faced with bears^H^H^H^H^H Apple Employees.
Jon Hulatt
Surely there's an app for that? #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:10 GMT
There's an app for just about everything.
Anonymous Coward
Missed Opportunity #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:10 GMT
She should have set the video record on prior to throwing it... top YouTube video then...
Fred Flintstone
Uh oh.. #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:10 GMT
.. we now have an iBear.
iGroan..
Chris Bradshaw
Bears are scavengers #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:10 GMT
and will eat anything sweet, including apparently an Apple.
deshepherd
Following the correct advice #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:10 GMT
Seem to recall from visits to Yosemite and similar places in the past the park authorities give guidance on what to do if approached by bears/mountain lions etc ... of course, the primary advice is to keep your distance but if they are approaching then the advice is not to run away but instead "act agressively" and throwing things at them is recommended (though, when I was last there 10 years ago the idea of throwing iPhones was not considered and instead stones were suggested)
Anonymous Coward
I can see the adverts now #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:10 GMT
"....being chased by a bear, stalker, freak, mental outpatient, escaped convict, Ex-MP scrounging for money?"
"Need a quick distraction?"
"Theres an app for that."
John Robson
Or did it just get frustrated by the interface? #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:10 GMT
Title says it all.
PS - penguins are more ferocious than bears
jim0bob
There's an App for that #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:10 GMT
Wiki - How to escape from a Bear!
Steve 26
Brick #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:10 GMT
I imagine if you chuck ANY brick sized object at a bear it's going to think twice about attacking.
Bilgepipe
Clippy? #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:10 GMT
WinMo phone - "It looks like you're trying to eat a human - would you like help with that?"
Anonymous Coward
am I bearish? #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:12 GMT
I'd annihilate an iPhone as well but never keep it.
Leslie Greenhalgh
There's an app for that... #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:12 GMT
Presumably your iPhone could emit a high pitched tone that bears find objectionable?
the spectacularly refined chap
Behind the times #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:12 GMT
Most competing phones not only distract bears but also parrots and particularly aggressive silverfish too.
Andy 70
Bear Attention Deficit Disorder? #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:12 GMT
RAR!! ... ooh shiney!
Law
what?! #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:12 GMT
No explosion?!?! Surely not...
Flames... just because.
Andrew Moore
Well... #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:12 GMT
...at least the bear had the good sense to render the iPhone useless (well more useless than it already was).
Anonymous Coward
Can't be a real Apple fan though #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:12 GMT
otherwise the story would read she throw herself at the bear to save the iPhone
Anonymous Coward
Well #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:12 GMT
it had to be good for SOMETHING!
Wize
Want to escape from a bear? We have an app for that. #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:12 GMT
Did she fire up any programs before throwing it, like a duck call? Mmmm, crunchy duck.
goggyturk
Ursine defecation #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:12 GMT
What I want to know is, when the bear went in the woods afterwards did it shit a rainbow, or was the face of St Jobs visible in the excreta?
Just imagine if the turd became a fossilised coprolite - Jobs on a jobbie for all eternity...
DJ 2
Throw my hugely overpriced status symbol #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:12 GMT
or perhaps a rock, or a stick?
fLaMePr0oF
I wonder... #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:12 GMT
What app did she run to provide sufficient distraction..?
Surely there's a developer opportunity here...
"Need to distract a dangerous animal intent on killing and devouring you?
There's an app for that!"
Is there nothing the iPhone can't do?!
DrunkenMessiah
Clearly not a fangirl... #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:12 GMT
Otherwise she'd have set the phone aside and gladly thrown herself at the bear.
Crazy Goat Man Al
OK I am holding a book #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 12:12 GMT
time of the first
Bear attack theres an app for that comment
Or someother such nonsense
Jeremy Chappell
Apple refused to replace it for free... #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 13:50 GMT
Well imagine my surprise. You can see it can't you?
Genius: How did this happen to your iPhone?
Girl: I chucked it at a hungry bear!
Genius: I'm pretty sure the standard warranty won't cover that.
Girl: What?! I think that's totally unfair!
John 186
The bear had more sense than the iPhone dealer... #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 13:50 GMT
"her local Apple store allegedly refused to replace the damaged device for free"
And passed up the best PR/advertising chance in how long? Chuffers!!
Richard Gray 1
Bear interview #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 13:50 GMT
Interviewing the bear, it said while it initially enjoyed using the iPhone the time it took to download and install apps got it so frustrated that it mangled the phone while prodding it to make it work quicker..
It later said that apple was bearphobic for not producing a touchscreen suitable for bears' talons
lukewarmdog
clearly #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 13:51 GMT
Bear : what's this, it's so shiney.
Woman : phew I'm saved
Bear : my fingers are too fat for this online keyboard, I can't get a decent signal out here and wait.. my wifes status is set to what on facebook?
Rip, tear stomp
Woman : wow this will make a good news story
Apple : careface, buy another one iTard
Woman : ok
I don't live anywhere near bears but I think if I did a quick patdown would reveal mace and dead squirrels (bears use them for toilet paper) before it revealed a mobile phone.
Alan W. Rateliff, II
@Andy 70 #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 13:51 GMT
Hey! I take offense to OH what's for breakfast?
Paris, NOT recommended a part of a complete breakfast.
Timo
throwing iphone vs rock/stick #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 15:05 GMT
Maybe she was expecting the phone to explode? In that case the iphone would be like lobbing a hand grenade. Add that to your list of truly *amazing* things that the iphone can do.
bygjohn
re: I can imagine the bear #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 15:05 GMT
You owe me one keyboard...
Paul RND*1000
TP, mace and hand grenades? #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 16:15 GMT
"I don't live anywhere near bears but I think if I did a quick patdown would reveal mace and dead squirrels (bears use them for toilet paper) before it revealed a mobile phone."
What, you mean they don't use Charmin??? Damn corporations have been lying to us again!!
Not sure what would be worse either, a bear eating you or a bear spraying you with mace, THEN eating you. I suppose they keep it for self-defense in case some random weirdo tries to pat them down. ;-)
"Maybe she was expecting the phone to explode? In that case the iphone would be like lobbing a hand grenade."
The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch^WCupertino?
James O'Brien
@Jeremy Chappell #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 21:17 GMT
Thanks for saying what i was thinking. How the hell did she expect that to be covered under warranty?
dr_forrester
Well... #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 23:14 GMT
I live in an area where encountering bears is not unheard of. During certain times of the year, and in certain areas, hikers are advised to carry/wear jingle bells (yeah, the holiday kind), as the noise will keep bears away most of the time - not being a "natural" sound and all that.
They say you can tell brown/grizzly bear scat from black bear scat because the brown/grizzly bear's poo has little jingle bells in it. I guess it's got iPhones in it now, too.
But, surely any Vermont state official, who hikes in bear country, should have known that.
dr_forrester
That said... #
Posted Thursday 15th October 2009 23:14 GMT
I have to agree with the earlier poster. Why was she expecting that her warranty would cover throwing the phone at a bear, when it doesn't even cover dropping it. I have dropped far more items, and far more frequently, than I have thrown at bears. If going in for a warranty replacement seemed a reasonable expectation, she should no longer be working for any government office.
Nicholas Wright
@AC - "app for that" #
Posted Friday 16th October 2009 09:57 GMT
.... still p155ing myself laughing...
Anonymous Coward
Insurance cover #
Posted Friday 16th October 2009 17:41 GMT
You'd have thought she would have had at least the "bear" minimum insurance cover on her iPhone!
Anonymous Coward
iPhone is the new Coke #
Posted Tuesday 20th October 2009 11:36 GMT
My company is about to start selling the iPhone, and we were discussing demo units. My boss remarked 'What do we need demo units for, you could take an iPhone to a tribe somewhere that had never seen a white man before, and they would know what it was and how to use it' :-) :-)