Reg Hardware

Sony Ericsson S312

Alan W. Rateliff, II

Side-mounted fast port 

Paris Hilton

Yes, please kill this beast and return the port to the bottom where it belongs.

Paris, on the bottom where she belongs.

No, I will not fix your computer

Nice (for the price) 

SE always hit the spot with this sort of phone, 750i was a classic, the w810i is a great phone (within it's limitations) 770i does the job in 3G, bit bigger but pocketable, the side mounted port is annoying to have it in your pocket but proprietry isn't a problem as there's a zillion 3rd party headphones/chargers etc. available and remeber it's just one connector (not two like usb+mic), also unlocking and customising is usually easy on SE's if that's what "your"* into.

*I guess this was a typo not some odd attempt at a bad accent.