Reg Hardware

* Posts by Anonymous from Mars

91 posts • joined Tuesday 4th December 2007 19:00 GMT

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Anonymous from Mars

Ouch  

In Texan judge outlaws Word

Unhappy

That's harsh.

One simple mistake can make commercial software cost a ton more. :(

Anonymous from Mars

Hooray!  

In Amazon Kindle doomed to repeat Big Brother moment

Thumb Up

As the husband of a writer, and barring security concerns, I am actually happy to hear this story and that the writer's rights were successfully protected thanks to technology. :)

Anonymous from Mars

Thanks!  

In Cutting the cord: future mobile broadband tech

Thumb Up

Very informative!

Anonymous from Mars

Hay boffanz  

In Boffins pump out pop-up touchscreen

Unhappy

Dear Boffins,

You forgot the 0 in your horrible prototype.

Love,

Everyone with a 0 in their PIN.

Anonymous from Mars

It's the perfect size.  

In Linux weaktops poised for death by smartphone

A phone is too small and a laptop is too big.

End of story.

Anonymous from Mars

Comedy goldmine.  

In French record labels sue, um, SourceForge

Thumb Up

Thanks, France, I needed the laugh!

Anonymous from Mars

Technologically apt?  

In Obama inaugurates YouTube-side chats

Coat

Technologically apt? In my White House?

It's more common than you think.

Anonymous from Mars

Thank you internet  

In Brit couple divorce over Sadville infidelity

Thank you internet for keeping these people away from me.

Anonymous from Mars

Sudden Interstitial Assault  

In Reg readers in Firefox 3 lovefest

Unhappy

IE6 is mandatory where I work. Sorry.

Anonymous from Mars

Undetectable? Of course!  

In Undetectable data-stealing trojan nabs 500,000 virtual wallets

The article says that the malware is undetectable to its victims, which makes sense, considering that the victims of said malware are going to be people with unpatched machines running with no AV software.

I could imagine a story like this being run on the nightly news programs, but I certainly hope El Reg's readership at least takes basic security steps.

Anonymous from Mars

BEATLES MMORPG  

In Beatles game is go

Heart

Come JOIN Sgt. Pepper's LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND!

Experience breathtaking worlds! TRAVEL BACK to the USSR! Stroll down the long and winding road to PENNY LANE. We GUARANTEE you'll never finish exploring the STRAWBERRY FIELDS!

CONVERSE RHYTHMICALLY with ENGAGING NPCs like Lucy, Eleanor Rigby, Jude, and Doctor Robert!

Find EPIC MOUNTS like the YELLOW SUBMARINE!

Play from over 40 character classes, including WALRUS, NOWHERE MAN, POSTMAN, HEARTS CLUB BANDIT, and LITTLE GIRL!

Collect DIAMONDS to ASCEND into the SKY!

Do you want to know a secret? Everybody's got something to hide - they're playing the Beatles MMORPG! Don't wait until you're sixty-four, shout for Beatles MMO now!

And don't forget to get a little help with your friends, too.

Anonymous from Mars

@Almost SFW and I'm surprised...  

In Sergey Brin descends from Mount Sinai with Android API

Taking the middle ground doesn't please anyone. I was eagerly awaiting another Dziuba piece, but this one fell flat.

Either rein it in completely, or don't hold back, Ted.

@Bob Scratchit

Perchance your name comes from a Christma episode of a 90's cartoon?

Anonymous from Mars

If a simple bot can do it...  

In Blizzard awarded $6m in WoW bot case

If a simple bot can do it, then there's obviously a problem with the gameplay.

I'm glad I'm immune to MMORPGs.

Anonymous from Mars

Barred from using computers.  

In TJX hacker breaks ranks with guilty plea

"Barred from using computers." That's like a living death sentence in today's modern world.

No ATM.

No pin pads.

No modern cards.

No mobile phones.

No modern TVs.

No video game consoles.

No CD, DVD, or BD players.

No e-books.

No modern-day appliances.

No job (what, you think you can clock in? HA!)

Start researching the 1960's, because that's how you'll be living (except worse because any modern conveniences have computers inside of them now).

Oh, sorry, you can't even do research. No wikipedia, no public library (the card catalog is on a computer these days, you know). Nope, you can't get the librarian to look it up for you, because that would make him or her an accomplice.

What can you do? Get pissed every day at the pub. Eh, not too bad.

Anonymous from Mars

0.2 is not a title  

In Reg readers rage at comment icon outrage

Needs a web 0.2 icon.

Anonymous from Mars

Awesome!  

In Amazon flash mob mauls Spore DRM

Thumb Up

Okay, I lied.

THIS is the only other Spore article I want to read.

The Amazon reviews are gold!

Anonymous from Mars

It's about time.  

In Big and bendy e-ink displays on way

It's about time we got this. Please don't screw it up, guys.

Anonymous from Mars

I love sandbox games. I hate Spore.  

In EA Europe struggles squeezing out Spore

I love sandbox games. I hate Spore. To even call it a game is a laugh.

May this be the only article I ever read about it.

Anonymous from Mars

@AC  

In MS preps four critical updates for September

Because of the massive number of patches that Windows requires, Microsoft came out with patch Tuesday so sysadmins would only have to restart every Windows computer once a month for patching.

Of course, sysadmins still have to restart every Windows computer 20 times a month for crashing.

Anonymous from Mars

This was already done before  

In Employee has no privacy on company computers, US court rules

A US court has already ruled that employees have no privacy on company computers. It happened, like, over a year ago.

Anonymous from Mars

August was a quiet month  

In NebuAd CEO quits

Thumb Up

Eagerly awaiting the "NebuAd and Phorm are dead" headline.

Anonymous from Mars

Rooting for Apple to win (lose)  

In Hackintosh maker bites back at Apple

Happy

I'm rooting for Apple to win this case because that means I'll see less MacOS.

Anonymous from Mars

I lol'd @ The Other Steve  

In Date bug kills VMware systems

Happy

Rarely do I get a good laugh out of the commenters on El Reg, but today, my thanks go out to The Other Steve with this down-to-earth comment:

"For a start, not one in a thousand people have the skills, shit, not one in a thousand programmers have the skills, to read through the source listing of a hypervisor and spot a bug like this, unless it's something really glaringly obvious like a great big commented section that says "THIS CODE WILL CAUSE THE SYSTEM TO FAIL ON AUGUST 12"."

Anonymous from Mars

@Too much Abba  

In Swedish men left frustrated by state sex aid policy

Too much Abba? More like too much Basshunter.

Anonymous from Mars

Limbo of the Lost  

In UK.gov pushes £50,000 fine for online copyright infringement

Joke

So this means the guys who made Limbo of the Lost are now looking at a bill of £50,000,000,000,000, right?

Anonymous from Mars

I see box art.  

In Wünderbra! German policewomen take 'Action Brassiere'

It looks like Sarah Bee is up for a rousing game of Gauntlet!

Anonymous from Mars

Since nobody did it yet...  

In Ex-Googlers reinvent web search

Paris Hilton

Paris because she's good at reducing loads.

Anonymous from Mars

@sheesh, louise  

In Oops - SF prosecutors put city passwords on public record

IT Angle

You mean "Geez Louise?" (it rhymes)

So what were the passwords?

Anonymous from Mars

Logical step.  

In Doctors: Third babies are the same as patio heaters

See you on the next planet!

Anonymous from Mars

The old in-out in-out.  

In Gov pulls plug on prison PlayStations

Happy

If I had a PS3 and I was in prison and barred from playing 18+ games, I'd get something like Barbie Horse Adventures and play it nonstop. I wouldn't say a word to everyone else unless required, just play Barbie's Horse Adventure with the volume as loud as allowed.

Anonymous from Mars

Solution!  

In American data pimper exposes ad equation

Thumb Up

Use their medicine against them.

Put on your website's privacy policy that NebuAd / Phorm / etc. must first purchase a license of $5,000 per webpage accessed.

Then, have one of your buddies from an opt-out locale view roughly 1,000 pages of your website.

Finally, sue for $5,000,000.

Problem solved. :D

Anonymous from Mars

@Johnathan Tate & @Ste(v?)en Hive  

In The FDRs of Green explain the gentle art of planet saving

Paris Hilton

""Economics is not a zero-sum game."

Proof please. Rigorous, and not by micro-economic example, thanks."

The sun. It's freely available for (almost) everyone to harvest energy from, constantly introducing a commodity into the market.

Kind of like MMORPGs and gold. We just don't have the NPC goldsinks.

Paris because she's a goldsink (but possibly not an NPC).

Anonymous from Mars

"Step forward NetIDme. Under cover of a suitably unpronounceable brand name"  

In Proof of age system moves net ID a step closer

Thumb Up

"Step forward NetIDme. Under cover of a suitably unpronounceable brand name"

I stared at NetIDme for about 20 seconds, gave up, and decided to call it "Net Dime."

Then I read the above quote. My sentiments exactly!

Anonymous from Mars

GROUP ONE ZERO  

In US nuke missile crew falls asleep on the job

Black Helicopters

GROUP ONE ZERO

GROUP ONE ZERO

TEXT

TEXT

TEXT

YANKEE HOTEL FOXTRAUT BRAVO INDIA ALPHA GULF SIERRA OHSCAR ZULU NOVEMBYR KILO JULIET

MESSAGE

MESSAGE

REPEAT

Anonymous from Mars

@Not my PC it won't!  

In Banking Trojan hides in fake Alonso F1 crash story

Don't feed the troll, everyone.

Anonymous from Mars

@That "... much publicised but still unspecified DNS cache poisoning vulnerability ..."  

In Pwnie Awards celebrate best and worst of security

Right now you can read it cached, second result.

Anonymous from Mars

Go to the Moon  

In Scientists ponder future Moon mission activities

Thumb Up

Yes, yes, go forth, colonize, and get off my planet!

Anonymous from Mars

The ninth word of the third paragraph on page eight is: Daventry  

In Street-savvy Microsoft tries to pop the pimply face of piracy

Don't copy that floppy.

Anonymous from Mars

Silly.  

In Oz censor, gamers fall out over Fallout 3 ban

Unhappy

In other news, the Classification Board is of the opinion that the use of mushrooms in the game has the positive effect of enabling Mario to increase in size. This ability to progress through the game more easily is the incentive to take the drug while the reward is in the character's abilities.

Anonymous from Mars

Hooray  

In Judge sides with eBay in fake jewelry spat

Thumb Up

For once, I'm glad eBay won something. The judge must have been competent. This case should have been common sense for two reasons:

-Trademark owners must defend their trademark.

-Content posted by users on websites is the responsibility of the users.

Anonymous from Mars

@GATTACA  

In Intel bets millions on speedy DNA sequencing chips

WAITING IN LINE TO ENTER THE BUILDING

ANNOYED BY TECH TRYING TO FIX THE MACHINE

*PONK* OW

INVALID?!?!

Anonymous from Mars

Content  

In Google releases serialization scheme

You're all surprised because this is how Americans slang it up.

Anonymous from Mars

More time means a better product.  

In Google plays Hide and Seek with Android SDK

I will be ever patient for our Overlord Google to deliver.

Anonymous from Mars

That looks delicious!  

In Ubuntu trumpets aromatic pistou of borage

Happy

That looks delicious!

I want everything on the menu!

mmm open source food

Anonymous from Mars

Wow.  

In Limbo of the Lost music not stolen, claims composer

I just finished scouring the corners of the internet to find information about this controversy, and what I found was hilarious, shocking, and mind-numbing.

Steve Bovis even goes as far as to pretend to be a beta-tester AND his daughter in forums. You can tell it's him because of the excessive "..................." and "hahahahahaha" remarks found in posts.

For a good archive of every game he stole from, including side-by-side comparisons:

http://lotl.wikia.com

Seems he's been stealing since 1995.

And dear god, watch the ending movie.

Anonymous from Mars

@Anya  

In Circuit City reports Q1 loss as US shoppers unplug

Unhappy

Circuit City is still gradually weeding out the smart people.

We live in Richmond. My roommate works for their tech support hotline, Firedog. He says it's always a struggle to avoid being the one that gets fired that week (apparently competence can do that).

Just recently he had to train a 65 year-old woman who has never used a computer before how to use their hackeneyed programs. Two weeks ago, he also caught his boss (who had left early because he wasn't feeling well) at an OTB parlor.

On another note, I was one of the people who got canned back in the great employee purge. I learned that I didn't have a job when I came in for work one day and all the workstations at the NOC were gone. All of them.

Anonymous from Mars

Bisexuality  

In Lesbians like straight men, researchers find

Unhappy

I am disappointed in the lack of attention or even acknowledgement of bisexuality by the researchers. That would be very insightful.

Anonymous from Mars

Women  

In A videogame that truly takes the p*ss

Thumb Up

"BTW is there a version for the girls? There's discrimination laws you know."

With practice, women can pee standing up just as well as men. The only discrimination is that they haven't tried.

Anonymous from Mars

@Thats Why I work Naked covered in whipped cream  

In Teapot backdoor probed by German telescope boffins

Happy

Best first comment ever.

Although the whipped cream might cause a reflection!

Anonymous from Mars

@Slavery is back with a Vengeance (Saviour Siblings)  

In Stem cell researchers claim victory in battle with Church

Coat

"How would you feel if you had been born out of a need for your tissue, spare parts supply."

I wouldn't, because I'd be genetically altered to not feel anything as I was being harvested. Pretty convenient, and we already harvest stuff from nearly every living thing except humans these days anyway. At least the humans wouldn't be inhumanely treated. Oh ho!

Screw this debate, mine's the one with the squirrel tail!

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